I did go to Holiday House one night with my friend and that was good for me to get out. I only broke down once!! I think every other booth at these Christmas shows have something to do with babies!!! I just ignored them and walked right past, even though that was VERY hard for me to do. I did get Tinlee's ornament that night from me for her tree. I had to order it and come back later to pick it up since it was personalized. When the lady showed me the ornament with her name on it, I just started crying!!! That poor lady asked me if everything was ok.....let me pause here and say that if ANYONE asks me why I'm crying, they are about to hear exactly why I'm crying...ha......poor lady had to hear about my sweet baby that I lost, and what the ornament was for!! I know she was speechless, but I just couldn't help it!! On another note, the ornament turned out very very cute.
So, while I'm on the subject of Tinlee's ornament. I just want to say what a blessing everyone has been that has sent ornaments. I'm so touched at the response that we have gotten on everything that we have done to honor our baby girl. This is just another reminder to Cody and I that we are not alone...that people love us and are praying for us daily, and that God continues to bless us everyday with something. Tinlee's tree is the only tree that I am putting up this year. For those of you that know me, you know that is unusualy because I have at least 2 trees that I put up. This year, I just don't have the energy to put all my stuff up. So, I'm putting Tinlee's tree and our stockings up and that's all. I'm very excited to get her tree up and take pictures for all of you to see!!! This tree will go up every year in honor of Tinlee!!
I also finished designing our Christmas Card for this year. I placed the order yesterday and I am very excited to get them sent out. Obviously, I can't send them to everyone, even though I wish I could. I will post the card on Facebook once I get them sent out, so that everyone can see them.
Just a quick update on how we are all doing. We are doing really well! God has blessed us beyond measure through this tragic event in our lives. We still have sad moments and sad days, but they are getting further apart. I don't get in her closet much, but the other day I needed to get in her closet to get my hot glue gun out, and I just fell to me knees and broke down. It's harder than I can explain to look at all those baby things in her closet that I had dreamed of using on Tinlee. Cody came in the room and hugged me. We had our little moment and then we got up and went about the rest of our day. I'm just accepting that things will be like that probably forever. I know there will always be things that trigger me. Overall, we are doing good. Tinlee's Tree has brought some joy to us and some excitement, because it's fun to see what everyone has picked out.
Please please please continue to remember us through the holidays. I know we are not the only people that will be hurting through the weeks ahead and we are praying for those families that we know will be struggling as well. I just try to remember what the holidays are really about!!
Since everything here today might well be gone tomorrow, do you see how essential it is to live a holy life? Daily expect the Day of God, eager for its arrival. The galaxies will burn up and the elements melt down that day-but we'll hardly notice. We'll be looking the other way, ready for the promised new heavens and the promised new earth, all landscaped with righteousness.
2 Peter 2:11-13 (MSC)
